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Lonely ole Hotel Room...

Here I sit, at 10pm in my very own room at the Hyatt. Sounds luxurious doesn't it? It would be....and should be (considering they gave me wine, cheese, fruit & goodies upon arrival). Unfortunately, I'm here alone, so it's not as great as it sounds. I'm in Indy this week for the Priester National Extension Health Conference. So far, things are going just as planned, so I can't complain about that....I like it when something you've worked hard on comes together. We like success like that. However, I wish that my boys could be here too.

I'm here to tell you, I have had a serious transformation in the past couple of years. Even in the last 10 years. 10 years ago, I was a junior in high school, playing sports, doing my thing with FFA and living life day to day, worrying only about getting my homework done and if I'd have something to do come Friday night. Fast foward a few years, and I was a State FFA officer, traveling the state, going places I'd never been before and doing it without fear. I was my own person, worried about nothing but myself and had all the confidence in the world. I was independent. Fast forward a few more years. I was a junior at Purdue, active as ever, living my life, enjoying the bar scene, and into my life walks this crazy fun, handsome, sweet guy. Turned my world upside down. Over the course of about 9 months, I went from independent and fearless to dependent and a true worrier. Suddenly there was someone in my life worth living for (beyond my immediate family....because that's a given!) There were thoughts crossing my mind, "what if something ever happened to him" or "what if something happened to me"...our lives together depended on each other. I was no longer miss independent, I was miss in love.

Fast forward a few more years...to where I'm sitting in a hotel room, by myself with a heavy heart, because my family is at home without me. Not the family you might be thinking -- Mom, Dad, Trent & Matt are off living their own lives, and doing quite well actually. I'm talking about my family ... the two loves of my life. Jason and Colton. Miss Independent here has been gone from home for a little over 24 hours, and right about hour 26 I called home to check in on everyone. They were fine without me. (Kind of a sad realization really....although, I'm glad they are getting along okay).  I hear Colton laughing as I chatted with Daddy. When Daddy let me talk to him -- I could hear him laughing, and then it happened....I heard him say, "Mama?" -- MY HEART SANK! Not the bad sink, but the "holy crap I'm in love" sink.  That kid, and that man mean more to me than anything I've ever known. I know Colton can say Mama, this wasn't a first, but the fact that he recognized my voice enough to say mama, just made me smile, and then cry. I realized that although my life might be more complicated (being an adult isn't always easy), I'm am so blessed. I have an amazing husband, and a loving, sweet, handsome little boy, who loves his mommy and daddy probably more than we will ever know. And you know....he's loved so much more than he will ever know. He is our world, and I think I realized that....that it's not about me, it's not about Jason, it's about US and our son. Hopefully, we can make our family grow in the future....because I'm here to tell you, nothing beats that moment when your child can vocalize their love for you -- he might have only said mama, but what I heard was "love you mama!".

Speaking of great love -- keep lifting Joe & his girls up in your prayers. Faith, Hope & Love works!

Have a great week!

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