Tuesday, 01 April 2008
If you would have seen me Sunday evening, about 9pm...you would have thought I was pregnant. I was entering the final hours of my 8 weeks of maternity leave, and anticipating taking Colton to the babysitter for the first time. It was like that wave of crazy pregnancy horomones just overwhelmed me once again, and wham...all I could do was hold my baby and cry every time he grinned at his silly crybaby mommy. Thankfully, Jason was a champ...he just hugged me and told me how good of a mom I've been to Colton and that helped...but still, I felt like I was letting my baby down by not being able to stay home with him. I don't want to miss a single minute...not his first giggles, his first steps, rolling over, etc. I want those to be our moments...not the babysitters. Granted...I love our babysitter, but still...those should be our moments right? And they probably will be, but still...the thought of missing them just makes me sad.But, Monday came, and Monday went, and here I am to live another day to tell about it. It's now 12noon on Tuesday, and I've not called to check on him. I'm sure he's doing just fine. I dropped him off yesterday morning, and cried for awhile after I left, and only called once to check on him, which I thought wasn't too shabby. Pam reassured me that most moms call more than that to check on their kids on the first day there. I didn't even cry this morning when I dropped him off, and the little cutie gave me a nice big grin when I told him to have fun with Pam today. (Yes, I realize he has no idea what I'm saying to him, but it helped me feel better...haha).
Work is crazy, and playing catch up is no fun. I feel like the excorcist, when his head spins all the way around. I've got so much to do, and have no idea where to start. I am finally starting to funnel through things to find a starting point, but seriously...the motivation just isn't the same as it was before. Now I know why they invited 9-5 jobs...its so Mom's can get home and care for their kids...which if I were President, would be a position paid for by the government at a salary much higher than someone with the most prestigious degree...
So, it's official. I'm a working Mom. And I will survive.
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