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Sometimes.....

Sometimes, I nail this Mom thing.

Othertimes, I fail miserably. Like this morning, when I finally broke down and just yelled at you Colton, for not listening. I tried being patient three times, and you continued to do your own thing. By the end of the drive way, I'd had it. I HATE starting our mornings like that, but I don't know how else to get your attention. I HATE the stress of the mornings and getting you all three out the door in a hurry to get where we need to be. I wish I could figure mornings out, so that we could always be sunshine and rainbows before 8am. I hope you know I'm never THAT mad at you for not buckling up when I asked you three times....I'm really just watching out for your safety, and trying not to let the rush of life get in the way of that.

I read a lot of blogs. I pin a lot of BRILLIANT ideas. I map out my parenting plan. And then life happens. I'm not calm and using a happy voice like the article suggested I do. (No offense, but old school me cannot get on board with the whole "put yourself in time-out to cool down before addressing your kids behaviors".....#sorrynotsorry) I'm not following through like I pray each night I'll do better tomorrow. I make amazing chore charts, just like the blog suggested....then get caught up in the chaos that is 5:45-8pm, and forget to follow through on them. Thanks for feeding Ava anyway.

And then sometimes, you do things that help me realize I'm still hanging in there in this "Mom" game. Like when Emmalyn tells me that she needs to go up and do her silent reading. You can't even read yet, Em, but you know that spending time in a good book is important. You've both really picked up on that, and ran with it. Maybe it's the cool lamps you each have, and feel responsible for turning on/off. Maybe it's the book reports we asked Colton to do once, that you now do nightly. I love hearing you report perfect what you've read. 

Or when you help around the house without being asked, because you want to move your clip up. And you remind me in asking, that we even have a clip system (another great pin, that hangs proudly and often gets overlooked in the chaos). I wish I was better at remembering to reward and praise you.

Or when you tell me what a great day we've had, or say thank you without being prompted. Or when you make over your baby brother, or offer to scoop the sidewalk of snow, or tidy the shoe closet yet again, after Keaton's been in there "exploring". 

Please, just promise me, when you look back on these chaotic days, that you'll remember the laughs we share, the dance parties in the kitchen, the hugs & ticklefests, much more than you'll remember my yelling. I wish I had a better patience. I wish I were better at balancing the chaos of life. We'll get there. I'm not giving up yet. And I know I shouldn't wish these days away....you're already growing too fast....but I'm hopeful that one day soon.... a lightbulb goes off that helps me realize we're doing okay. We're hanging in there. And that we're "nailing it" as parents. You're great kids....you just happen to have a lot of your Dad and I in you. :)

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